Insights

Last week Mrs. McIlvoy eloquently opened our conversation on social skills. Her first paragraph discussed that we have learned our social skills from our earliest moments on earth. Our earliest interactions begin to shape and form how we will interact socially. Our students have grown up with the internet. As soon as they got old enough (as determined by you, their parents) they were given a phone with access to the world on it. Their social skills have been shaped and formed by what they have seen on their screens.

As Director of Secondary Student Life, let me tell you some things that I have seen that have influenced your students social skills when it comes to their social media presence.

Our students have seen adults, and their peers, create online personas that are not consistent with who they are in real life. This can go as far as creating accounts simply for the purpose of being hurtful, and borderline hateful, without having your name/image tied to your statement. This shows our students that it is perfectly acceptable to live a life that is fake; that honesty is optional.

Our students have seen adults that they look up to using their social media platforms to cause division instead of being used to seek peace. Because they look up to these adults, they deem this as an acceptable part of life.

Students have access to people who call themselves Christians, but “preach” content contradictory to scripture. In turn, some will take on these beliefs to be true and will begin to wander from the faith. 

Students attach themselves to certain “influencers” and treat their words as gospel, completely disconnecting from those around them who they should be looking to for influence.

They have lost the ability to have conversations that have even the slightest bit of conflict because they have not learned how to deal with criticism, constructive or not.

They have lost the ability to have conversations.

Students have forgotten that words have power and have great impact because they do not see or know those on the other side of the screen.

Lt. General Robert L. Caslen Jr., 29th Superintendent of West Point Academy, when speaking of social media, notes, “Because they cannot directly sense the impact of their words, some people feel unconstrained and say things that are both incongruent with their own values and hurtful to others.” This is what our students are seeing and these are the things that are shaping their social skills.

Here at Logos Prep, we strive to work through these things. We encourage face to face conversations. We ask hard questions and force our students to think through their statements, encouraging consistency of thought. We are all a work in progress. At 38, almost 39, years of age, I have not arrived. I have to fight these urges. I have to fight the inner battles everyday to watch what I post on my social media platforms. My kids will be able to find me one day. I want them to see that their dad was the same both online and offline. I want them to be able to look at me, and in their formative years, before they leave from under my roof, have their social skills, online and offline, molded after the character of Christ. It is a lofty goal, but one very much worth striving for. 

Now to Him who is able to keep us from stumbling and to present us blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, may we offer Him our lives, both online and offline. May He give us the courage to live our lives, both online and offline, in a way that glorifies Christ, and points our children toward Him. May our lives shape and mold the social skills of our students in a way that is worthy of the Gospel. Amen.

Joel Gutowsky
Director of Student Life
Logos Preparatory Academy