Insights

I still remember the constant battles I fought with my four darling children regarding good social skills.  Sometimes it felt like an uphill battle and I wondered if it was worth all the time and energy it took to require them to make eye contact,  share, follow directions, WAIT THEIR TURN, etc.  Can you tell that last one was especially challenging with my crew?  Social skills are important because they are the foundation for having positive relationships with others; with parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches, friends and future employers. Good social skills will allow your children to connect with other people on a level that is important in life so they can have more in-depth relationships with others.

A few examples of important social skills for students:
Listening to others.
Making eye-contact while talking to someone.
Using good manners.
Sharing things.
Managing time.
Following others' directions.
Co-operating & helping others.
Respecting one another’s personal space.

A significant meta-analysis by The Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL) has shown that students who receive social skills instruction have more positive attitudes about school and improved an average of 11 percentile points on standardized achievement tests compared to students in control groups without such instruction.  We love that, but it is not our primary reason for wanting our students to have good social skills. 

A study at the University of Arizona determined that those who struggle in social situations may be at greater risk for mental and physical health problems.  Lack of good social skills can cause children and young adults to be rejected by their peer groups causing them to experience severe loneliness. "We started realizing about 15 years ago that loneliness is actually a pretty serious risk for health problems. It's as serious of a risk as smoking, obesity or eating a high-fat diet with lack of exercise," Chris Segrin of UA said. The use of technology is not helping either as it is creating an attention span that is only able to listen long enough for a sound bite and seldom requires a face to face response.  

Colossians 4:5-6 encourages us to have good social skills stating, “Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person”.   I love that Paul uses Timothy in Philippians 2 as an example of the social skill of helping others when he says, “For I have no one like him, who will be genuinely concerned for your welfare. For they all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know Timothy's proven worth, how as a son with a father he has served with me in the gospel”.  May we all encourage our children to seek the interests of others and not just their own.

Learning good social skills helps prepare young people for success in their own life and in building the Kingdom of God at a young age, continuing as they transition into adulthood.  My four darling children are all grown up. Not one of them is perfect but I am telling you from experience that the fight for good social skills is very worth it!  Keep requiring all the “essentials” and point them to the Lord.  He makes up the gap where our exhaustion and sometimes ignorance leaves off. God meets us and our children where we are in our struggles and loves us into the healthy places He desires us to be.

Becky Ross
Primary Education Principal
Logos Preparatory Academy