Insights
Windows and Mirrors
“Books are often the best or only avenue available for kids to see inside the homes of others and begin to fill in the soft outlines of their understanding of how other people see the world.”
~Amber O’Neal Johnston, A Place To Belong
Johnston in her book, A Place To Belong, describes books as being both windows and mirrors. A window that allows you to see your neighbor and how they live. Books also act as a mirror or a tool that allows you to reflect on who you are and how you should live. Books that supply both windows and mirrors are an important part of raising up the next generation. A family reading practice can be an important practice because children can gain an understanding of the world around them and an understanding of who they are.
One of the gifts that Logos Prep has given me is time to read aloud to my children and be intentional about reading to them. I remember reading Johnny Tremain to my children and then listening to one of my children read the Hobbit. During that time of reading, my children saw me read. Research has shown that the number one reason that children don’t read is that they don’t see a parent read. It is never modeled. Thinking back, my personal reading time occurred when all the children were in bed and I could quietly have time to myself to read and eat from the hidden stash of Oreos. They never saw me read (or eat the Oreos) if I only did it when they were in bed. Creating a practice of a family reading time allows children to see you read and then from the reading to have discussions that not only increase their vocabulary, but help them gain understanding of the world.
Reading a rich and diverse variety of books together as a family allows for an opportunity to teach and to share perspectives. Books become windows to other points of view and cultures. When reading about hard topics, the books become safe places to discuss and gain an understanding of others. Having what Johnston describes as a “library of windows” will help teach about a colorful world of people and cultures. “Children who grow up seeing a wide variety of skin colors splashed across the page of their picture books won’t be surprised when they see the same rainbow of colors on the playground.” A family reading practice opens the window to loving our neighbor better.
Books can also be a safe place to reflect on ourselves and shape our children’s identity. I have a favorite book that I read to my children and when I read it I couldn’t help but cry. My kids would roll their eyes, but were drawn into the story. In the story, a young brave boy acts very courageously and saves another young man. I remember having the discussion with my children about being brave and doing the right thing even if it was hard. The book allowed me to reflect on the core values of our family in a safe way. When hard topics are brought up in books, you can talk and have the opportunity to shape their worldview. This gives children the opportunity to ask questions and to gain understanding of themselves. Children can see themselves represented and gain an understanding of how they might handle an issue or problem and this can maybe even inspire them and help them persevere through difficult situations. Books as mirrors allow a child to see themselves and help in their formation.
Influencing your child to read is not just the process of teaching phonics and word decoding, but carving out time and space that allow an easily distracted mind to focus and comprehend the words of a book. A family reading practice is an intentional act in the modern world and one worth practicing.
Leah Rabb
Elementary Education Principal
Logos Preparatory Academy
Emotional Bank Account
I can still remember being 11 years old and waiting in line at a new bank with my dad with my piggy bank of life savings in my arms to put into my own savings account. I thought I could buy anything and everything now because I had a bank account. I soon learned the harsh reality that you can only withdraw money that you have put in and that was definitely not enough for all that my heart desired. The sad notice that said there were not enough funds to cover my “fun” was a rough one to get. I eventually learned that overdrafts were NOT good and I learned to make more deposits and less withdrawals so there was a positive balance in my account and my life!
Each member of our family also has an emotional bank account of trust instead of money. Dr. Stephen R. Covey, the author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families®, defines an emotional bank account as one’s relationship with another. He explains the concept of an emotional bank account with a metaphor: “By proactively doing things that build trust in a relationship, one makes ‘deposits.’ Conversely, by reactively doing things that decrease trust, one makes ‘withdrawals.’ The current ‘balance’ in the emotional bank account will determine how well two people can communicate and problem-solve together.” If you are struggling to communicate with your child you may need to ask yourself, “Do I need to make more deposits?”
Some common WITHDRAWALS that parents make with their children are:
Being distracted (like checking your phone) when your child is speaking to you
Nagging
Yelling or screaming at your child
Criticizing them repeatedly
Being overly sarcastic
Talking about your child or your spouse negatively to others
Lack of follow through with your word
Here are some ideas for DEPOSITS into your child's emotional bank account:
Apologize when you make a mistake!
Be affectionate. Research says we need 12 hugs a day! (emotional & physical).
Spend time with them- read a book, play a game or cook a meal together.
Greet them warmly as they hop in the car or arrive home from school.
Attend their activities and be attentive to activities in their life.
Be kind and patient (hard one sometimes, I know).
When children make a mistake, be compassionate and help them to solve their own problems.
Laugh with them-So important!
Spend one-on-one quality time with them.
Keep your promises. Cannot overstate this one enough!
Pray aloud over them!
Where does your investment stand? Have you made enough deposits in your family so that there are enough “funds” to cover the daily withdrawals? It is not good to live life always being in the red. The good news is that we all have the ability to fill our family’s emotional bank account regardless of what our paycheck says. Little kindnesses go a long way toward building relationships of trust. Let’s be proactive and choose to build families who have a plentiful emotional bank account which allows them to be generous and have emotional currency to give to their family and extend to others around them in need.
Becky Ross
Primary Education Principal
Logos Preparatory Academy
Eve of Easter
As I sit and write this article on the Thursday of Holy Week, I am reminded of the importance of this day. Today, Jesus sat down with his disciples and shared a meal.
The Lord’s Supper. The Last Supper.
It was an intimate gathering. A gathering of friends. A gathering of a community.
As we approach Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday I am reminded of the importance of community and family. Whether it is our church family or our family unit, each of these gatherings is an invitation for us to recognize the holiness of that moment.
So allow me to offer this prayer for you as we begin our Easter weekend.
“Wake us to be present to you and to one
another in these shared hours we are given.
For it is you, O Lord, who have
so gathered us from our various places,
and you alone who know our hearts
and our needs.
Among us are some who arrive anxious, some
who are lonely, some who suffer pain and sorrow.
May we in our joys find grace to enter the
sorrow of others.
Among us are some who arrive rejoicing,
hearts made light by good news, good health,
glad anticipation.
May we in our sorrows find grace to embrace
the joys of others.
Breathe upon our gathering,
O Spirit of God.
Grant each of us a place to humbly receive and
to faithfully serve, that we might know in this
brief gathering a foretaste of that greater
communion yet to come.”
May the mystery and the joy of this celebration be near to you this weekend. May the importance of Christ’s defeat of death, hell, and the grave bring you great joy and anticipation for the greater communion to come.
Joel Gutowskky
Director of Student Life
Logos Preparatory Academy