Insights

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”.  Mathew 6:33
 

Agency is the underlying sense that you are not powerless in a situation and it is with agency that you make decisions. Making decisions is a skill we can teach our children and one that helps strengthen their agency. When children lack agency, they can become “frozen” or have decision making paralysis. 

In our efforts to teach our children that there is a right and wrong, we have created a construct that there is only one right way and only one right decision. Children often need guidance on how to make decisions and also be free from the fear of making the wrong decision. Yes, there are decisions that are distinctly right-wrong decisions, but there are also decisions where the options appear to be equal. How do you decide?  Model the process of  how you go about making decisions. Teach your children to pray in all things and submit to God while seeking His kingdom.  But at the same time, build a relationship that removes the fear of failure and prevents decision making paralysis. 

Recently, I watched a video of a high school student riding a bull and when he fell off the bucking bull, his body froze on the ground. The boy looked defenseless and powerless as he laid in the dirt unable to move. As the young bull rider laid on the ground, the bull was still bucking and the rodeo clowns were trying to move him away from the young man. Suddenly, the boy's father jumped over the gate and completely covered his son. The father used his body to shield the son from the bull. Sure enough, the bull rammed into the father and son. (You can watch the video here.) The father protected the son just as God's steadfast love covers us and removes fear. A very wise woman once freed me from decision paralysis by telling me that I should not live in fear of making a bad decision, but if I make a bad decision to turn around and learn from it. When our children do make a bad decision, we should affirm to them that they have not lost our love for them and help them see that it was a learning experience.  This creates confidence and removes the fear of failing. By increasing the child’s agency in decision making, we have increased the child’s ability to make good choices and reduce anxiety.

 When we teach our children about decision making and to seek first His kingdom, we need to remind them that they are loved and that they are not powerless. God has promised not to leave us and has left His great counselor, the Holy Spirit. We are covered! Proverbs 3:5 talks about trusting the Lord and that He will make your paths straight. The Lord will guide us and if we step out of His will, His Holy Spirit will convict us.  There should be no fear in decision making. Let’s teach our children to walk boldly in the name of Christ and live confidently as they seek the kingdom.

Leah Rabb
Elementary Education Principal
Logos Preparatory Academy